Failure II

I had several ideas for my posting today, but it has taken me until the end of my workday to make a firm decision on the topic. When all the pieces fell into place I was amused to see the title of last week's post: Failure. Little did I know when I wrote that piece that I would be confronting my own type of failure within days.

Since having my son I haven't been out auditioning as much as I had previous to his birth. Recently, I decided it was time to dive back in. So last week I balanced workshops at the university on presentation skills with auditions at several local theatre companies. Both the preparation and audition process were exhilarating, taxing, stimulating and exhausting all at once. No matter how much I reminded myself that the experience of auditioning should be the reward in itself, I found myself envisioning being offered the role I had auditioned for and having the opportunity to work with so many talented and creative people on such engrossing material. So it was no surprise that I felt a sense of failure later in the week when I was not offered the role.

I had hoped that the long break might have lessened the feelings of sadness over not being cast, but a very recognizable sense of loss was definitely apparent in my gut. I contemplated stopping there, not pursuing any more auditions. However, as the dullness dissipated my senses returned and I happened upon this quotation by Teddy Roosevelt:

"It is not the critic that counts. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marked by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasm and great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

So, come on, let's get out there and FAIL VALIANTLY!!!!